The Balancing Act
I am very old now. Sick and tired. Sleeping in my bed, waiting for death. I am lucky enough to have my family around. At this time, I have a lot of time to reflect upon my life and the learning it has offered me.
When I think about how and what my life was, I feel the rush of mixed emotions in my mind. If I think about it like a stranger, detached, I feel I lived my life like an acrobat. Always trying to do the balancing act.
Trying to find balance between fun and responsibilities, savings and expenditures, healthy dieting and gluttony, work and recreation, duties and rights, demand and capacities. The list is endless. In fact now when I think about it, it looks like the whole world is busy in this balancing act. Trying to find balance between good and bad, fair and unfair, natural and man made, just and unjust.
I feel very happy that I tried to balance things and tried finding out the best central point for all aspects of my life. No matter how much success I got, I paid good attention on my responsibilities in finding balance. Tried being fair, tried having fun and tried saving. Tried helping others and being nice to myself.
Though, I still regret that I was only busy in this balancing act for all my life. I never really sat back to enjoy the grand show offered by life. I got too tangled in my responsibilities to realize what is the whole purpose of it all. What is the point of whole awesome effort if it is purposeless? I wish I could have put my foot down just for a while and could have thought about the purpose of my life. I could have just done my part and then could have left the rest on universe. No matter how much I tried, I could not change certain things anyway. Though, universe took care of it in its own way sooner or later. I wish I could have trusted this process and could have enjoyed my life being worry free.
This is the only advice I want to give to youngsters at my death bed, don't take life too hard, just do your part and leave the rest to the universe. He has better plans than what we think.
When I think about how and what my life was, I feel the rush of mixed emotions in my mind. If I think about it like a stranger, detached, I feel I lived my life like an acrobat. Always trying to do the balancing act.
Trying to find balance between fun and responsibilities, savings and expenditures, healthy dieting and gluttony, work and recreation, duties and rights, demand and capacities. The list is endless. In fact now when I think about it, it looks like the whole world is busy in this balancing act. Trying to find balance between good and bad, fair and unfair, natural and man made, just and unjust.
I feel very happy that I tried to balance things and tried finding out the best central point for all aspects of my life. No matter how much success I got, I paid good attention on my responsibilities in finding balance. Tried being fair, tried having fun and tried saving. Tried helping others and being nice to myself.
Though, I still regret that I was only busy in this balancing act for all my life. I never really sat back to enjoy the grand show offered by life. I got too tangled in my responsibilities to realize what is the whole purpose of it all. What is the point of whole awesome effort if it is purposeless? I wish I could have put my foot down just for a while and could have thought about the purpose of my life. I could have just done my part and then could have left the rest on universe. No matter how much I tried, I could not change certain things anyway. Though, universe took care of it in its own way sooner or later. I wish I could have trusted this process and could have enjoyed my life being worry free.
This is the only advice I want to give to youngsters at my death bed, don't take life too hard, just do your part and leave the rest to the universe. He has better plans than what we think.
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