Who am I?

Superficially, I am a collage of many names given to me or owned by me. I started identifying myself with the name I heard first. My parents called me by that name. It gave me identity. Then I was called a child. But then things kept on changing with the changing age. I did many things I never knew I could. 

As I grew, I realized that another way of my identity is my gender. I learnt about my gender appropriate stuff like dressing, talking, walking, working. I explored in that area further, read about it. Faced challenges related to this identity. Conquered some. Still dealing with some. Tried supporting the group with same identity. While in the process, as I grew, I realized that I am not limited to this identity either. I some times look for usefulness and uselessness in things like a male, I sometimes look for beauty in things like a female.My thoughts do not have this limitation of gender identity. It uses both efficiently. It creates miracles when it works in harmony. 

My vocation gave me another identity. I really enjoyed it. While studying I discovered, this is the area I want to explore. This is where I belong. While working, I realized that there is no end to learning. I enjoyed making difference in my small ways. But then I realized, I can be interested in little bit of other things as well. I can travel, I can cook, I can write, I can sing. I can do many things other than just my profession. 

The community gave me so many identities. I am someone's child, sister, friend, cousin, spouse, parent and what not! I discovered my ability to love, give, receive and anticipate. It was beautiful. This is my home. I felt! Though, when I explored further, I realized that I could extend my love to many more people, many more things in the environment. I felt it for people I hardly knew, I felt it for animals, I felt it for that plant in my patio, I felt it for the Sun on the horizon. 

My region, race, culture and language gave me very good sense of security and belonging. I explored it with my heart. I enjoyed being there. When I opened my mind further, I felt interested in other cultures, regions and languages. I could relate to so many! 

Religion gave me a very big foundation for my existence. I found the meaning of being. The meaningfulness of existence. Though, when I looked beyond, there was a vast ocean of knowledge still unexplored. 

Every time I found the piece of my collage, I found a great happiness. When I tried putting these pieces together, the collage turned into a puzzle. The more pieces I found, the puzzle became bigger and bigger. As I grew, I started finding it growing as well. In each piece, there is a sense of identity but it does not end the quest. It only triggers the new search. Stopping at that piece and accepting it as an identity is like stopping the journey. Why to settle for less when you can get more? Sure it takes time and growth to find the new destination but now I know I am going to continue the search of finding myself. Because now I know that I am all these pieces of collage and more!