Tips to communicate effectively with your child from a SLP
Many of my friends who are also moms, many times say this, " How do I get my child talk to me about his/her school day? When I ask him/her about the day, he/she just tells me it was fine and that's it. How do I get him/her to talk more? "
May is a Better Hearing and Speech Month. I thought I should use this opportunity to not only answer the above question but also to share few more tips to have an effective communication habits for your child. Again, every child is different. There are no one size shoes that can fit all tiny feet but here are at least few tips worth trying.
1) Start Early- When your child is a baby, it is the best time to teach good communication skills. Babies do not only thrive on full tummy, a good night sleep and snugly clothes. They need your undivided attention. Alexa or Google home can only sing lullabies but can never teach great communication skills like giving eye contact, laughing and talking about the object or event of same interest, showing and exchanging various facial expressions etc. If you want your child to talk to you in future at least for 30 minutes without worrying about their video games, you need to start early. Look at your baby and talk to her without worrying about the work email or oven timer ringing.
2) Model- Children learn from observations and imitation. They are watching you and are absorbing the communication habits from you. If the dinner is happening in front of TV and not around the dinner table, that is the life long habit you are giving to your child. If you are answering his questions briefly because you are busy, he is going to be very busy with his iPad later and will not have time to tell you how his day was in elaboration.
3) Listen- Life is very busy but there is a price that needs to be paid for every act we perform. Are we ready to pay price of paying brief attention to our child's random talk and queries? That is something one needs to think about. We are teaching kids at home and at school to pay undivided attention to the instructions given by parents and teachers. This is great. There is no communication without listening but there is no communication without two people's involvement either. When your child is talking to you are listening completely? Give your child a gift of being a good listener by being one.
4) Expand on Your Child's Utterances- Starting at early ages, expand on your child's utterances. If your child is able to say "blue car" at 2 years of age, after celebrating it, help your child to say " I want blue car" by providing her an appropriate model. This language habits will keep helping her further. Not only for language acquisition and expression but also when she learns to write at school.
5) Stay Updated- We all talk more to our friends. We like to talk to them because they share same lingo with us, they are in the same situation like us. If you want your child to talk to you, you need to be his friend. You need to know what books, animations and games are trending for their age. Having common topics can be very helpful starters for effective communication.
6) Ask Open Ended Questions: To elicitate a particular response, a particular question is necessary. If the question is "how was your day at school? " the answer can be "good"and then period. If you want to know specifics, you should be asking for specifics. You can ask questions like " What did you do for circle time today?" or "What books did you read during library today? "Did you know that a platypus is an egg laying mammal?"
7) Once a Talker....- Try these simple habits to facilitate good communication and language skills in your child. Once your child learns to talk well, there is no distraction that can stop him from communicating his heart out to you. Please note that even after great communication attempts by you, if a child still continues to show limited understanding and expression of language, it is time to consult your pediatrician to rule out any medical conditions and to a Speech and language pathologist to find out more about your child's speech and language development.
After all as quoted by Maya Angelou- " There is no greater agony than beating an untold story inside you."
May is a Better Hearing and Speech Month. I thought I should use this opportunity to not only answer the above question but also to share few more tips to have an effective communication habits for your child. Again, every child is different. There are no one size shoes that can fit all tiny feet but here are at least few tips worth trying.
1) Start Early- When your child is a baby, it is the best time to teach good communication skills. Babies do not only thrive on full tummy, a good night sleep and snugly clothes. They need your undivided attention. Alexa or Google home can only sing lullabies but can never teach great communication skills like giving eye contact, laughing and talking about the object or event of same interest, showing and exchanging various facial expressions etc. If you want your child to talk to you in future at least for 30 minutes without worrying about their video games, you need to start early. Look at your baby and talk to her without worrying about the work email or oven timer ringing.
2) Model- Children learn from observations and imitation. They are watching you and are absorbing the communication habits from you. If the dinner is happening in front of TV and not around the dinner table, that is the life long habit you are giving to your child. If you are answering his questions briefly because you are busy, he is going to be very busy with his iPad later and will not have time to tell you how his day was in elaboration.
3) Listen- Life is very busy but there is a price that needs to be paid for every act we perform. Are we ready to pay price of paying brief attention to our child's random talk and queries? That is something one needs to think about. We are teaching kids at home and at school to pay undivided attention to the instructions given by parents and teachers. This is great. There is no communication without listening but there is no communication without two people's involvement either. When your child is talking to you are listening completely? Give your child a gift of being a good listener by being one.
4) Expand on Your Child's Utterances- Starting at early ages, expand on your child's utterances. If your child is able to say "blue car" at 2 years of age, after celebrating it, help your child to say " I want blue car" by providing her an appropriate model. This language habits will keep helping her further. Not only for language acquisition and expression but also when she learns to write at school.
5) Stay Updated- We all talk more to our friends. We like to talk to them because they share same lingo with us, they are in the same situation like us. If you want your child to talk to you, you need to be his friend. You need to know what books, animations and games are trending for their age. Having common topics can be very helpful starters for effective communication.
6) Ask Open Ended Questions: To elicitate a particular response, a particular question is necessary. If the question is "how was your day at school? " the answer can be "good"and then period. If you want to know specifics, you should be asking for specifics. You can ask questions like " What did you do for circle time today?" or "What books did you read during library today? "Did you know that a platypus is an egg laying mammal?"
7) Once a Talker....- Try these simple habits to facilitate good communication and language skills in your child. Once your child learns to talk well, there is no distraction that can stop him from communicating his heart out to you. Please note that even after great communication attempts by you, if a child still continues to show limited understanding and expression of language, it is time to consult your pediatrician to rule out any medical conditions and to a Speech and language pathologist to find out more about your child's speech and language development.
After all as quoted by Maya Angelou- " There is no greater agony than beating an untold story inside you."
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